The Societal Product that is Max Gersten

Of course the credit (the good and the bad) of Max Gersten goes to none other than Max Gersten himself. This I can be darn sure of. The question then becomes what factors molded the decisions and paths that have been taken. Of course much of the person I have become is due to my friends, family and teachers. Unfortunately, some credit goes to the media, and mass marketing. The one unifying thing that links all of these pieces together though is society. 

At a basic level, it is due to society's construct that my parents were even involved in my raising. Where was the conscious decision made that once a child is born it is under the care of the parents. There have been times in the history of humankind where this was not the case, and probably still isn't in parts of the world. As for the influence our friends and teachers have on us, it is easy to see society's mark. Is it nature that seems to separate boys to befriending other boys and girls with girls? Were we all born with the idea that woman are the care-takers and men the breadwinners? Of course not, but clearly some of society's influences are more easily noticed than others. 

The easiest societal force to recognize is the media. It also has to be said that the media is the hardest societal force to recognize. Sometimes I struggle to differentiate between society and the media as the two are so closely related and intertwined. Our idea's of dating, relationships, humor, friendship, being cool, hip, in style, punk, socially acceptable, and in general: 'normal' are, in large part, influenced by the media. The common perception of sex and gender are no exception to this.  From getting beaten over the head with how we should look, to defining what is sexy, through exactly how we should act to attract someone, the media is adjusting our thoughts. Again, this can be done in your face; through advertising and TV/magazines, to almost subconsciously; our default idea of heterosexuality and binary gender system. The question now turns to how all of these things molded Max Gersten's view's of sex and gender.

As is the case with all but the most disciplined, it is hard to distinguish what parts of me have been adjusted by society and which parts are o'naturale. To not be redundant, I just posted on how I felt about my own sexual identity. What I did not mention was why I have such thoughts. While I can credit society with influencing some of the things I am most proud of, I feel I have to blame society, in part, for my biased feelings towards gays. While I can say confidently that I have nothing against anyone who identifies that way, I would feel ashamed if I myself were gay. Even right after writing that down I'm disturbed that those are my feelings. To make a similar comparison I guess it is like my grandparents view of blacks. Growing up they were taught a certain thing, and even while they accept blacks as equals they have lingering racism that has stayed with them. Whatever the influence has been on my mindset of sexual preference, I have to admit that I have upheld what most would consider a common, yet unfortunate, view of sexuality.

Is Sexuality and/or Gender a Choice?

I personally don't think that ones sexuality is a choice. It would take a whole new reprogramming of my brain to believe that gender could be one either. When we look at why this is the case though, things tend to look less certain. 

When it comes to ones sexual preference, the idea of choice generally seems to be in debate. On the one side you have the idea that men and woman were created so to biologically reproduce. As you'd find in other mammals the male impregnates the female in order for the species to survive. This does seem to be a strong point, being that we are also mammals, but you'd also be hard pressed to find a person who likens themselves to wild beasts (there are definitely exceptions). As most of us would like to believe that we have evolved past being wild animals, it seems fair to say that so has our brains, and consequently our behaviors have evolved as well.

 I don't know many people (if any) who admit that their sexual orientation was one that they picked out to suit them. It is far more likely that someone thinks they are heterosexual by default, only to later realize that they were just attempting to choose their sexuality and in fact preferred same-sex partners. On the other side, it seems very unlikely (but not impossible) to me that a person would 'choose' to be homosexual, only because of the societal punishment and discrimination that you would have to face. As for myself, I can honestly say that I was unsure of my sexuality at points in my life. Not only do I possess a few characteristics associated with woman, but I also went through a very confusing and depressing time in my life where I questioned everything about myself. On top of this, all of my friends were guys, I struggled to talk to girls, I worked with boys (camp), and was called gay or a fag more than your average college guy. To be perfectly honest, if I ever did have homosexual thoughts I would try to immediately push them from my head. I was embarrassed to even be thinking that I might actually be gay. What would that mean? What would my friends and family think? I had been so socially programed to think negatively upon this group that I was actually scared that I might be a part of it; it was at this point that I could clearly see why it is so difficult for some people to come out. 

Jr High couldn't have helped my perception of being gay. For about 4 years of my life the most intense and frequent insult you could receive was being gay/ a fag. I don't know if this was the time period I grew up in, or a right of passage growing up, but in any case it is awful in the brainwashing of kids. Maybe I did consciously make a choice to be heterosexual. Based on the terrible struggle that others have had trying to do the same makes me think otherwise. While I clearly didn't know who I was, the scariest thing that could have happened to me was realizing I was homosexual. I say this despite the fact that I was suspended from school and considered myself to be wasting my life away, at least I didn't like men. It's unfair for me to try to relate my life to others, as we all have many things to cope with, but I genuinely feel for those people who were socially brainwashed as myself who do identify with sexuality they have come to think of negatively. 

Seventh Blog

I was pretty shocked after reading the Female Circumcision article. The book couldn't have titled the section any better than the way it did; Gender and the Prism of Culture. Before reading the article I had my own opinions on the topic, and pretty much assumed that the piece would be written in argument of the practice. Especially after learning about inter-sex people earlier, I have felt strongly against voluntary surgery of babies. I now understand better, Female Circumcision is not something of choice to Muslims living in the West Java region, it is simply a necessary part of life. Before we lay judgement on something, we must be able to look at it in the variety of ways the light may illuminate it. 

Child elective surgery just doesn't seem right. As we talked about with people born with ambiguous genitalia, surgery wasn't just an option, it was mandatory. You were being a poor parent if you let your child go through life not having a clear cut gender. The ridicule and confusion that you could save your child by having surgery just made more sense than the alternative. The problem with this practice was that choosing the  correct gender isn't as clear cut as the 1 inch rule, and in some cases people would rebel against their gender later in life.

Unfortunately, their is still no correct way to go about dealing with children born with ambiguous genitalia. Today, there have been cases of parents leaving the child as is, if only to let the child itself make a decision later on in life. While this seems to be more rational than a parents best guess, it leaves the child to a confused and probably troubled youth. Unless society changes to accept the fact that we all don't fit into the two gender system, people born of ambiguous genitalia we almost have to undergo surgery at some point in life, or suffer societies criticism for being different.

What if the child surgery was done for religious reasons, of no ill effect towards the child. According to the Female Circumcision article, that is precisely what is done. With the tingkeban custom (female circumcision) it is believed that by cutting the clitoris it will not only lead to a smoother and more fluid birth later in life, but also help to stop the passing of physical and moral faults from the parent to daughter. If this were the common thought in western culture I'm sure the practice would be far more common.

More importantly for Muslims is the right of passage into mosque's. If a man or woman is not circumcised, they will not be allowed into pray. One midwife described this fact as making man and woman equal in front of Allah. As for the common western thought that if a woman is circumcised she will not gain the same pleasure from stimulation, the thought seemed ridiculous to the midwives. Their take on it was that such a thing only increased pleasure, and more importantly was cleaner/cleansing to preform. The tingkeban custom seems to be not only accepted in the West Java region, but is simply another part of life. 

When the two procedures are juxtaposed it seems clear which one is more necessary. While a female circumcision would probably be considered child abuse in the US, it is clearly embraced in a different culture. Ambiguous genitalia surgery is also embraced in the US, but for far different reasons. While tingkeban is done religiously it is commonly accepted, surgery to conform ambiguous genitalia into something more recognizable is accepted only because the alternative would not be. It would be easy for a westerner to look at these two practices and question or even find female circumcision horrible in comparison to the trouble-saving sex surgery; I guess it just depends on which way the light bends when you look through your cultural prism. 

Privilege Knapsack

It has never been a secret to me how lucky I was to get the cards that were delivered to me. Not only do I feel privileged compared to many other American's, but being born a US citizen, we are all already lucky. When trying to fully understand all that has been given to me without my even asking for it, you have to go back to even the most basic necessities that are taken for granted.

Lets start with the big three to survival in general; food, shelter, and clothing. When it comes to these three basic things I have been in the upper echelon of privilege. Until college, I never even had to give thought to eating or shelter, both of which were presented to me on a daily basis without question. Even once I entered college life the tools were always provided for me to fill these needs, and while it didn't always lead to satisfying them, the privilege was still present. As far as clothing goes, it has always been a luxury to me, not a need. So while I pay for my own clothes, I've been privileged enough to not even consider clothing a necessity. 

While there are many levels of life I'm taking for granted (as most with privilege do), I move on next to my childhood. My parents have never struggled with money, and while I wasn't given nearly everything I wanted growing up, I never was missing anything needed. This brings me to a privilege that less than 50% of Americans enjoy, that being 'happily' married parents. I was actually even lucky enough to have memories of all my grandparents as well. A quality education was provided by my parents, not to mention meeting other peers of similar privilege; something that goes far too unnoticed in the power community's (having other privileged friends). A peaceful suburban community surrounded me where I could roam the streets and fields without fear, and I'm particularly grateful for the ability to go to summer camp and play sports. This is clearly not even close to a good representation of how privileged my childhood was, but it does give one a general idea.

Finally, the innate privilege I have in this world due to my heritage. This starts with what is probably the most important piece to privilege in the US, being (basically) white. Entire books can and have been written on how important this happens to be in the US. What is the most shocking about the privilege of being white is that the benefits are, for the most part, unknown to whites. This type of privilege is only truly seen when compared to those of us who are not born white. In a very brief analysis, whites get none of the stereotyping, profiling, and racism that those born of color receive. Other similar privileges come from being born (or developed into) a heterosexual male. Just as with my race, most of these benefits are only realized when compared with those that are not heterosexual or male. As with race, being in the subordinate group of gender or sexual preference leads to a huge increase in persecution and profiling. Lastly, I am privileged to be a kind, mildly intelligent, easygoing person. I wish I could believe that it was because of these characteristics that I am where I am today, but realistically it is only a minor part of my privileges. 

Preforming Gender

One of the best days of the year to see people acting out gender roles came to us at the perfect time yesterday. Valentines Day turned my house into a portrait of different people acting out gender in a variety of ways. The one that I focused my secret documentation on was the one who has had a long time boyfriend. She woke up in the morning to having flowers waiting at the door. At this sight she became immediately up-beat and giggly. This was quickly followed by a trip to the kitchen to get a vase to present her flowers. 

While this whole scene was filled with a hegemonic gender preformance, It was what would seem to be a more common task that really struck me as funny. Before being able to go out to dinner for the night came the preparation time. She took a shower, of which I have no information of how her actions may have been gendered, and then set to primping; a process that as a guy I have very little knowledge of. The straightener was broken out, and I have never seen such compulsive brushing. The intense process was only broken to ask our opinions of the proceedings, which occurred more than a few times along the way. This was followed by a variety of other touch ups, the common theme being a search for perfection in her own opinion, and maybe equally important, in ours. 

One thing I found particularly interesting was the constant concentration used. She was carrying out a conversation to us, but judging by the way she was looking in the mirror I was amazed that she could hear what we were saying. Maybe even more intriguing is that fact that I would think she's no longer nervous about going out on a date, as it was far from the first time. Despite this, the body language that she was exerting seemed to be one of nervousness and anxiety. This mood did appear to be gone once the prepping was over, and when her date showed up at the door, box of chocolates in hand, there were no traces of the prior anxiousness. 

Gender Socialization

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pY8jaGs7xJO&feature=related   or

search in youtube for Flight of the Conchords - If that's what your into

While this clip is clearly being over-the-top sarcastic it still provides us with a few different aspects of gender socialization. At a basic level, you have a scene in which Brett (the man) is trying to impress the Coco (the woman). Watching this clip, about the only normal thing that you see is a guy singing for a woman. You don't witness too many females trying to serenate guys. Another point that can be missed is the body language of the people. The female constantly gives her undivided attention to the song while smiling, and nodding at appropriate times. Brett, on the other hand, nervously looks directly at Coco and constantly changes his gaze. Also of note is the way that the three are sitting. Coco sits legs crossed hands on her lap for much of the song, while the males sit more casually, slouched over, or in a dominant, leg-up position. 

The lyrics to the song are more noticeably gender oriented. Brett's song is basically about trying to find out if Coco would be interested in having sex with him. Here is more of an in your face picture of how a guy acts. It is obvious that this is not your 'normal' song, but that does not take away from the general point. The song is a spoof on how a man is programed to think; I may be singing a song for her, but what I'm really trying to do is get into your pants, "if that's what your into." The fantasy's of the song are also gender driven. Brett has one verse about being interested in a three-some with Coco. While I'm probably naive in saying this, the desire for this type of thing seems to be more masculine in nature. 

Coinsideing with the comedy of the song, is gender socializing. In this case, the more concrete examples are the more minor points, such as posture, clothing, and body language. A clear showing of the male trying to impress the female also reinforces a common gender socialization. While much of the nature of the song is comical, the overlying idea of a man thinking solely of sex is also something society has gender socialized.

*If you enjoyed the clip I recommend looking at some others. (most beautiful girl in the room is a personal favorite, and I think won a grammy).

Blog Three

I guess now is as good a time as any to try out a personal blog, as I can't really relate to the topic of choice. It's funny because as I sit down to write something about myself, I realize that for too long I have been overly self-critical. I can't help but think, "what is interesting." Not just what is interesting about me, but what do I find particularly interesting. It is actually because of these two questions that I had to leave Boulder for the past year. 

First is the self-depricating mindset. Coming from a small high-school where I knew everyone and everyone knew me was a big change to begin with. As a shy and far from confident person, freshman year was characterized around being as anti-social as I could be without being miserable. Trying not to offend people and make waves was a priority over feeling free to be myself. This type of thinking was not only rough socially but mentally as well. Keeping a constant barrier up takes serious effort, an effort that was straining. Luckily there was plenty of weed around when I needed a break, and I became a self-medicating smoker. 

This viscous cycle of being self-conscience, and self-medicating unfortunately continued for a few years because I was a capable enough student to coast through. Even worse though, was the fact that this cycle slowly lead me away from the person I really did feel like. Resorting back to being a stoner was plain easier than the alternative (doing something because it's easier seems to be a reoccuring theme lately). I would go back home and not resemble the upbeat, easygoing person I had been. What was I interested in, what was I passionate about? These were questions that inexplicatly I had no answer for. It had just been too long since I had done/acted the way I felt that I couldn't remember anymore.

Luckily, my friends and family saw the change of character becoming restricting to my enjoyment of life. One of my best friends at school suggested I take some time off to put things in perspective, and my parents decided they weren't going to pay for me to go to school if I wanted to return. In what I look at as the first good decision in a string of a few of them, I left Boulder and spent the subsequent year living at home. With my parents and sister around, and being productive working five days a week I slowly re-gained what I had lost;. My sense of self.

In a weak attempt to relate this to class, loosing your sense of self can be terrible socially, but downright catastrophic mentally.