Is Sexuality and/or Gender a Choice?

I personally don't think that ones sexuality is a choice. It would take a whole new reprogramming of my brain to believe that gender could be one either. When we look at why this is the case though, things tend to look less certain. 

When it comes to ones sexual preference, the idea of choice generally seems to be in debate. On the one side you have the idea that men and woman were created so to biologically reproduce. As you'd find in other mammals the male impregnates the female in order for the species to survive. This does seem to be a strong point, being that we are also mammals, but you'd also be hard pressed to find a person who likens themselves to wild beasts (there are definitely exceptions). As most of us would like to believe that we have evolved past being wild animals, it seems fair to say that so has our brains, and consequently our behaviors have evolved as well.

 I don't know many people (if any) who admit that their sexual orientation was one that they picked out to suit them. It is far more likely that someone thinks they are heterosexual by default, only to later realize that they were just attempting to choose their sexuality and in fact preferred same-sex partners. On the other side, it seems very unlikely (but not impossible) to me that a person would 'choose' to be homosexual, only because of the societal punishment and discrimination that you would have to face. As for myself, I can honestly say that I was unsure of my sexuality at points in my life. Not only do I possess a few characteristics associated with woman, but I also went through a very confusing and depressing time in my life where I questioned everything about myself. On top of this, all of my friends were guys, I struggled to talk to girls, I worked with boys (camp), and was called gay or a fag more than your average college guy. To be perfectly honest, if I ever did have homosexual thoughts I would try to immediately push them from my head. I was embarrassed to even be thinking that I might actually be gay. What would that mean? What would my friends and family think? I had been so socially programed to think negatively upon this group that I was actually scared that I might be a part of it; it was at this point that I could clearly see why it is so difficult for some people to come out. 

Jr High couldn't have helped my perception of being gay. For about 4 years of my life the most intense and frequent insult you could receive was being gay/ a fag. I don't know if this was the time period I grew up in, or a right of passage growing up, but in any case it is awful in the brainwashing of kids. Maybe I did consciously make a choice to be heterosexual. Based on the terrible struggle that others have had trying to do the same makes me think otherwise. While I clearly didn't know who I was, the scariest thing that could have happened to me was realizing I was homosexual. I say this despite the fact that I was suspended from school and considered myself to be wasting my life away, at least I didn't like men. It's unfair for me to try to relate my life to others, as we all have many things to cope with, but I genuinely feel for those people who were socially brainwashed as myself who do identify with sexuality they have come to think of negatively.