Our class is no different to this rule. Not only do I have the usual increased focus while in a classroom, but the material that we have been covering and discussing is interesting. This is the main difference between this class and all my prior classes in school [I'm a business major :-( ]. While I will also be quick to say that some of what we have talked about is a little uncomfortable, I think that by addressing these issues in the classroom much of the tension is dissolved. For example just talking about gender nuetral people, hermaphrodites, sex changes, and queer's is not something that comes up day to day; when it does it is not seriously talked about but usually just joked about.
I like to think of myself as a pretty friendly and open person. In the past if someone were to discuss any of these topics with me though, I would feel uncomfortable about what I should say or what may offend someone. Only a few classes into this class I know that some of this edge has been relieved. As was mentioned in class, we are generally scared of what we don't know about. The more you are educated on something the more easily it is to address in a social setting.
I grew up in a 'typical' patriarichal family with my father being the bread-winner and mother staying at home. Going back to your question of where we came from (gender specifically) I would say that I think of myself as being open-minded, but probably have a biased view when it comes to women. By no means would I demand to have a house-wife, but I would feel imasculated if I were to become a stay at home father. When it comes down to it I'm probably more attracted to woman who are willing to take control in certain circumstances, and are willing to make a move themselves. The real gender bias that I have regards myself, as a man, opposed to my idea of the ideal woman.
I'm currently living at a house with three other girls. One of them is bigger than me, one of them is a complete mess of a roommate, and another is a more 'typical' small, clean, dainty girl. All three of them I would consider good friends, and while I'm not saying I would date all of them, by no means do I judge them because of their femininity.
It is really on my side that the social pressure of the 'normal man' gets to me. I feel like I have to be in shape, and assume that one day (too soon) I will be a provider for myself and a family. I have always loved sports and probably look negatively on other guys who don't. If another guy hangs out exclusively with girls I will probably call them gay. Where if a girl hangs out with the guys all the time I think of her as a pretty damn cool person. When I really try to address all of my bias' I'd have to say that 90% of them are focused on how a man 'should' be/act.
I'm pretty poor at conclusions and being that this is the first blog have no idea of this is what you were looking for. Without question though, I have enjoyed the first few days of class. I'm sorry that I skipped our final project meeting, but if it is a consolation to you the snowboarding was great. Maybe karma hit me, because I lost my wallet while riding. Guess I shouldn't have gone after all.
1 comment:
Max,
This is a great post. I'm really glad that our class discussions have increased your comfort with talking about some otherwise taboo or difficult issues. I'll be interested to see where you stand on all of this by the end of the term, and whether your friends notice any difference in the way you think about things. The funny thing is (and I think you already see this) just by being exposed to these ideas and talking about them, you can't help but see them differently, even if you disagree with your classmates and/or myself. If nothing else, learning acceptable (non-offensive) terminology is a huge step toward getting a better handle on these issues, which is definitely something I hope to give people in this class.
There's nothing wrong, per se, with buying into traditional models of masculinity/hetero-normativity. The problem comes when you think women and men are this way because they were born this way, and that it's only acceptable if they act in these societally determined ways. We all have our own preferences for ourselves and others, and while it may be hard to admit the degree to which these have been conditioned by society, it's useful to do so. For me, I like to make sure I'm doing/thinking/saying things because I REALLY feel them, rather than because I know I'm "supposed" to.
Glad snowboarding was fun. Wouldn't have wanted you to give up a day of it for a five minute meeting. Though I am jealous because I still haven't found time to get out there yet myself.
Great post.
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